Sex, Gender and The Way We Talk About It
Why this cis woman cares
Sex and gender are not synonymous. People’s identities should not be erased. This matters to me, as a cis woman, because my body parts do not define me.
The topic of “sex and gender” has been showing up at my work. We have been talking about adding pronouns as an option to our email signatures, and I was asked to see if there were stander practices on how it should be formulated.
A few articles I found used male and female in place of man and woman. People think by using the terms male and female, they sound more scientific. They sound more official to people. But that is problematic. They do not mean the same thing. Before I explain why I, a cis woman, am so bothered by this, I think I should backtrack. I need to talk about some concepts.
First, your body’s biological sex should not matter to anyone but your doctor and, depending on your reproductive or physical needs, your sexual/romantic partner.
Second, there are more than two biological sexes; even within males and females, there are many variations. Nature is not binary. (https://www.healthline.com/health/sex-vs-gender#sex and https://lgbtq.unc.edu/resources/exploring-identities/intersex) Males and females have a range of body parts and hormones. Biological sex is a hot mess because we evolved from creatures that might have worked like the clownfish. Our ancient species’ ancestors may have switched sex as adults. (https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/group/clownfish/ and https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/sex-ed)
There are intersex people too. (https://interactadvocates.org/) Corrective hormone treatment and surgery can alter a trans person’s biological sex. Just to make sure I am very clear on this, trans and intersex people are valid.
Now that we covered sex, we need to talk about gender.
Gender is not the same as sex. Gender is what influences pronouns and dress. Gender matters. Respecting someone’s gender is very important.
Gender is man, woman, and many other things. There are more than two genders. Gender is not binary.
Therefore, subbing man and woman in place of male and female are problematic. They are not equivalent, and when you talk about other sexes and other genders, it becomes hazier.
In the articles I read for my work, they talked about non-binary humans. It is important to know that intersex and nonbinary humans can be the same human, but the terms are not synonyms. Intersex is a biological term. Intersex people are not male, and they are not female. An intersex person can have mixed male and female sex attributes, or they can have genitalia that is neither male nor female. Intersex is sex, not gender. For example, some hyper-feminine women happen to be intersex. It is speculated that George Washington may have been an intersex person rather than a male. He may have had an extra X chromosome (XXY).(https://www.departments.bucknell.edu/History/Carnegie/washington/didyouknow.html) He was a man even if may have been intersex.
Non-binary people are humans that are on a spectrum of gender identities. They are not exclusively masculine or feminine. This is not the same thing as an intersex person. A non-binary person may be anatomically male, female, or intersex.
By squishing together sex and gendered terms, you make the differences more confusing. Substituting intersex for non-binary simple does not work.
*Just in case you missed it, gender IS NOT SEX. Gender is valid. Gender is important.*
To make things even more complex, sex matters too. For example, there should be access to menstrual hygiene products for everyone who needs them. That access depends on anatomy. That access is determined by elements of sex, not gender. Biology determines who needs access to these things. Some females, some medically altered trans people, and some intersex people may all need hygiene products. But some women; including trans women, older women, top women athletes, and women in many other situations may not need hygiene products. So, issues around some female reproductive systems need to be divorced from the concepts of women.
Women do not need menstrual hygiene products. People with a uterus, who have active menstrual cycles, need menstrual hygiene products. (https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/transgender-men-pain-menstruation-more-just-physical-n1113961 and https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-transgender-menstrual-products-20191112-2rqexd75efezhp2r4oy7njdmju-story.html)
So why does the cis woman who is writing this article care?
Most people’s genitals do not matter to most jobs. If I were a sex worker my genitals would matter but I am not a sex worker. My sex is not relevant to my job. My gender is important because of my pronouns and clothes. The rules for clothing in a business setting, for example, what qualifies as business casual, vary based on gender. My gender happens to match my expected sex because I am a cis woman. But I would rather none of my business associates think about my genitals. My genitals should stay out of this. Anything to do with genitals is my business alone. It is not anyone else’s business, especially people at my workplace. That’s why this topic involves me. I am more than my bits.
Besides, a male-bodied person who is a woman should be treated like any other woman. Her genitals are irrelevant. A man who happens to have a uterus should be treated like a man. His genitals are irrelevant, just like my genitals are irrelevant, especially at work. This should not be a hard or radical idea.
I did mention that my doctor may need to know my sex. Details about my sex might be helpful to them. With that said, I want to be treated like a person. As a human my gender, not my sex, matters in social situations. Both my gender and my sex matter when I am being treated at a hospital. They are separate concepts and should be treated as such in a medical situation.
Recently I had to make a trip to the ER (I was fine in the end, thanks for asking). The medical bracelet they gave me troubled me.
The medical bracelet said my legal name, sex, age, date of birth, admission date, and bar code. This is very typical of hospital bracelets. (https://www.pdchealthcare.com/products/patient-id-wristbands.html ) They did not ask me any questions on how I would like to be addressed when I was admitted to the hospital. At no point was I asked what my preferred name was. My name could be Roger John Doe and I might want to be called John. More seriously, it could have my dead name (a name a transgendered person used before they transitioned). They did not ask me for my pronouns. This could be part of compassionate care and would have taken them 20 seconds. It took them 15 minutes to ask me all the medical background questions, so I doubt those 20 seconds would have set them back.
The answers to these questions could be reflected in the information on the medical bracelet. This could be used to address the person. Changes on what questions they ask at intake would save people unnecessary trauma. Also, it could be relevant to a person’s health and build trust.
When you conflate the concepts of gender and sex these questions are not asked. When you use the wrong terms, it makes these conversations harder.
